How i killed a shark with my bare hands (totaly not clikbait)

Discussion in 'Introductions' started by AceDub, March 26, 2017.

  1. AceDub

    AceDub Well-Known Member

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    AceDub
    Well im Sloth_AceDerp many of you might remember me by the acc i use to play on (AceDub) my brother now occupies that account. I love factions and would like to be staff some day which is very unlikely because i am 12. I know the sign language alphabet and play guitar. I have a whole clan of sloths from me to Menni Dankster RainbowHGU and Toheede and we will rule the factions server. Those who came for the shark bit, i punched it ;).
     
  2. StealthBravo

    StealthBravo Overlord Owner Administrator Developer

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    StealthBravo
    What the fuck did you just fucking say about me, you little bitch? I’ll have you know my name is John, and I woke up this morning 5:30 sharp to the smell of wet pussy. I was getting a blowjob from two bitches (Shit was SO Cash), one was trying to fit my humongous 3 pound balls in her mouth while the other was choking halfway on my 18 and 3\8 inch dick. She started to squirt hard, she was convulsing and having 6 orgasms at the same time. I gave it to them and they were on the floor squirting like motherfucking fountains. Must have come about a quart of sperm and compressed air. Imagine your best orgasm, then multiply it by 35. I had to go to base camp so I front-flipped from my 14th floor barracks into my valet parked 2012 Ferrari (I got connexions). Pushed my shit to about 4 hundo (mph, mind you) and I was at base camp in no time. When I entered, I became a top sniper and was granted access to the entire arsenal of the USMC. I learned how to kill someone in over 700 different ways and was assigned to be the leader of a squad that will kill 300 terrorists using gorilla warfare tactics. Also did 6000 push-ups, 8000 sit-ups and bench-pressed 30 plates in 16 minutes. After basic training, I met a network of secret spies who will help me trace your IP address, while eating gold plated sushi and 15,000 $ champagne. My unit got the rest of the day off and I became captain of our base’s football team and starter of the basketball team. I got straight A’s on the military entrance exams and received more awards. Meanwhile, you were jacking off to pictures on Facebook and naked drawn Japanese people. Went back in the Lambo to my barracks and now I am getting ready to go to sleep. I am going to graduate at the top of my class in the Navy Seals tomorrow and I want to look pretty much perfect for it. Don’t be a stranger and remember, I did more in one day than you will your entire life.
     
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  3. TheAndroidMan

    TheAndroidMan Axe lover Developer

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    TheAndroidMan
    I sexually Identify as an Attack Helicopter. Ever since I was a boy I dreamed of soaring over the oilfields dropping hot sticky loads on disgusting foreigners. People say to me that a person being a helicopter is Impossible and I'm fucking retarded but I don't care, I'm beautiful. I'm having a plastic surgeon install rotary blades, 30 mm cannons and AMG-114 Hellfire missiles on my body. From now on I want you guys to call me "Apache" and respect my right to kill from above and kill needlessly. If you can't accept me you're a heliphobe and need to check your vehicle privilege. Thank you for being so understanding.

    What the fuck did you just fucking say about me, you little shit? Ill have you know I graduated top of my class in the Navy Seals, and Ive been involved in numerous secret raids on Al-Quaeda, and I have over 300 confirmed kills. I am trained in gorilla warfare and Im the top sniper in the entire US armed forces. You are nothing to me but just another target. I will wipe you the fuck out with precision the likes of which has never been seen before on this Earth, mark my fucking words. You think you can get away with saying that shit to me over the Internet? Think again, fucker. As we speak I am contacting my secret network of spies across the USA and your IP is being traced right now so you better prepare for the storm, maggot. The storm that wipes out the pathetic little thing you call your life. Youre fucking dead, kid. I can be anywhere, anytime, and I can kill you in over seven hundred ways, and thats just with my bare hands. Not only am I extensively trained in unarmed combat, but I have access to the entire arsenal of the United States Marine Corps and I will use it to its full extent to wipe your miserable ass off the face of the continent, you little shit. If only you could have known what unholy retribution your little clever comment was about to bring down upon you, maybe you would have held your fucking tongue. But you couldnt, you didnt, and now youre paying the price, you goddamn idiot. I will shit fury all over you and you will drown in it. Youre fucking dead, kiddo.
     
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  4. MrLight

    MrLight Code Wombat JR Senior Moderator Developer

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    MrLight
    I'm gay.
     
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  5. AceDub

    AceDub Well-Known Member

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    AceDub
    Well hay there John...
     
  6. McDonaldTrump_

    McDonaldTrump_ Well-Known Member

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    McDonaldTrump2016_
    Infinite poop. You sit on the toilet to poop, but the poop never stops coming out of your butt. You have to start flushing the toilet every two minutes to keep up. You try to pinch your butt closed but that makes your insides hurt. The poop accelerates. You call 911. The paramedics call for doctors. The doctors call for specialists. The story trends on Twitter. You turn down talk show appearances. Your septic tank fails. People form a cult. Your toilet is finished. Volunteers arrive with buckets and shovels. You are completely used to the smell. The poop accelerates. You are moved to a stepladder with a hole in the top step. The poop accelerates. The shovelers abandon the buckets and shovel directly out the window. The poop accelerates. A candlelight vigil forms around your house. One of the workers falls over and can't free himself. The poop accelerates. A priest knocks over the stepladder and tackles you out the window. You land in the pile. The poop accelerates. The force now propels you forward and upward. Vigil goers grab at your legs. The poop ignites from their candles. The Facebook live event hits 1 million viewers. The poop accelerates. You are 30 feet in the air. The fire engulfs the vigil and your house. 60 feet. The poop accelerates. The torrent underneath you is deafening. 5 million Facebook live viewers. You try to close up shop but your butthole disintegrated long ago. 120 feet up. Your house explodes. The poop accelerates. 1000 feet. You are now tracked on radar. You try to change your angle of ascent but you should have thought of that way earlier. The poop accelerates. 4,000 feet. NORAD upgrades to DEFCON 3. Concentric circles of fire engulf your city. The poop accelerates. You have broken the sound barrier. 30,000 feet. You no longer take in enough oxygen to sustain consciousness. 60,000 feet. CNN is reporting on all the world records you've broken. 200,000 feet. You are no longer alive. The poop accelerates. Your body disintegrates but your poop contrail remains. NASA can no longer track you. You break the light-speed barrier and we can no longer bear witness. The poop accelerates. Forever.
     
    • Funny Funny x 1
  7. AceDub

    AceDub Well-Known Member

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    AceDub
    Not even joking, this is me. I had a whole suit made out of plastic bags but someone threw it away ^_^ http://imgur.com/a/8U1tw
     
  8. McDonaldTrump_

    McDonaldTrump_ Well-Known Member

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    McDonaldTrump2016_
    is this the boss baby?
     
  9. AceDub

    AceDub Well-Known Member

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    AceDub
    Yeah
     
  10. ballisticboss

    ballisticboss Well-Known Member

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    BallisticbossGX
    Seek help, please.
     
  11. msscentral

    msscentral New Member

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    msscentral
    Lol, pooped on forever. Savage poop.
     
  12. SirBoneSmith

    SirBoneSmith Well-Known Member

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    SirBoneSmith
    I am tired of racism on roblox, I am tired of dealing with this. I can't stand it anymore. What is wrong with roblox. They can't even control there own players. I had to leave the game i was playing today because of racism. My avatar had a shirt with the mexican flag on it and everyone launched at me and started to bully me on my race. I have never ever had to deal with something like this, it is such a shame roblox is turning into a place like hell, where no one is safe because of your nationality. I had people telling me that i should get DEPORTED! Does anyone know how it feels. I am an American citizen born and raised here with mexican blood and i have the same rights as everyone my race should NOT matter at ALL! People started to tell me that my race is crap! I have never in my life been so offended like this. The game was a small server consisting of 11 players at least half of them where offending me. Why? Why, is this place so cruel? Why are humans like these? These might be the last time I and my brother play this game. I have never been so offended like this. Mexicans have to go through these in real life why does it also have to be through roblox. I am not gonna sit here and allow this. I expect a reply from roblox to review the chat. THIS IS WHY ROBLOX IS DYING!! Roblox has turned into a money hungry game where no one is taken into consideration! I have to deal with RACISM in a childrens game! Thats messed up! I was offended by numerous players due to my nationality,why is this happening why is roblox allowing this! I was told that i should get DEPORTED, it is the same as telling me i dont belong in america. I have the same rights as a white, because I was born and raised here in AMERICA! Me being Mexican does not give any one the right to offend me based on my race. It is not the first time but today it really got on my nerve, i am usally very cool and chill with everyone , but when someone offends my race,religion, family etc.. i explode. Especially because i was told that my race is CRAP! This is not a joke. it is something very serious. What if someone told you to yourface that your race is CRAP? How would you feel about that? This is something serious, not a joke. Many of you haven't realized that our world is getting worst and worst by the day,why you may ask? It is society, the people who have made this workd the way it is. We live in a world led by ambition and the want For power and most of all HATE! Whos gonna pay for it because mexico isn't they said it already. So america is gonna pay for it and there peoples taxes are gonna pay for it. America is a country for all races do you all know the meaning of the statue of liberty means it means she is there to welcome immigrants anerica is a country for immagrants. Excuse me, not only african americans deal with racism so do mexicans. most people during the 60s just made a big deal toward AA racism but not Mexicans. Ok look at the people in the street asking for money how many of them are white? All of them. How many are mexican? None because mexicans are the most hardworking people there could ever be. All you whites hating because you wish you where as hardworking and admirable as a mexican.
     
  13. Derpking1606

    Derpking1606 Well-Known Member

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    Derpy_chocolate
    I'm a Mexican, but I don't listen to any stuff people say about me because it's likely they have worse problems then me at home.